Low sex drive? Loss of libido? Get help with these tips!
Everyday life and routines often cause people to lose their sex drive. Holidays are good times to confront the spouse again and wake up the lost desires.
Is it always necessary to want to have sex?
It really is not! Everyone decides how often and how she wants to have sex. According to the masculine mindset, the man is constantly thinking about sex. This is hardly true. But such a claim may be that a man may actually think of sex more often. This is because a woman often has so much more to think about in her life from home work and from children.
Unwillingness becomes a problem when you are not on the same page in the relationship with your partner. The reasons should be clarified by discussing with a partner and, if necessary, a sexual therapist.
What if you want to have sex, but you’re always just too tired?
It is a misconception that the desire would ignite like pressing the button. It must be awakened and cherished. Urgency and fatigue take away the desires. If the life situation is only such that energy is consumed anywhere other than between the sheets, you need to talk to your partner. Otherwise, there may be misunderstandings that will hurt each other deeply. The partner should be told that the cause for passivity is in the fatigue, not in the partner.
But it is also natural that your partner can not always be inspirational: Desire is vulnerable, and therefore you should be very careful about what words you use about your partner. If one gets to hear that he is too fat, he does not necessarily dare or want to surrender to sex.
It is true that the longer it is without having sex, the threshold for taking action increases and proximity and affection are beginning to feel embarrassing. If having sex feels uncomfortable because of fatigue, you can always and should still at least think about sex. Just thinking prevents the desires from slipping. Fantasies are one way to maintain sexuality.
How to get excited when the last time has been for years ago?
Elderly people may have a variety of illnesses that inhibit and affect their intercourse. Sexuality is not merely about intercourse. Another person can show affection and love in other ways: keeping in the arms, touching and talking nicely. These same tender ways are also suitable for tuning for intercourse after a long break.
Sexual therapists guide their clients with tenderness exercises. Their purpose is to find the partner's erotic regions and get it aroused.
How does desire and arousal correlate to each other?
The intercourse do not succeed or will become painful without sufficient arousal, because without arousal the man does not have an erection or the woman's vagina is to dry. But in order for a person to get excited, first you need to have desire.
In a good relationship, each party needs to want each other and want to get excited about the other showing affection: hinting words and touches. Unless partner gets excited, the relationship needs improvement.
Is it true that a man gets excited about what he sees?
Both can get excited about seeing things. For example, while watching porn, a man can get an erection. But just as well a woman can get excited when she sees a really handsome man on the street.
People are different. Others are more visual and enthusiastic about vision. If you identify yourself as such, you can consciously feed this feature if necessary.
When you ask a partner directly, what kind of things will make him excited, is very beneficial for the relationship with a partner. If your partner is inspired by beautiful underwear, your loving partner will take this into account in her own clothing choices.
Does a woman get aroused about what she hears?
Everyone wants to be wanted, and hear it from the partner's mouth - regardless of gender. At the beginning of the relationship, tender words come out of the mouth, but in the long run, they often fall short. Saying things can, however, be foreplay, a way of prolonging enjoyment.
In sex therapy, many clients tell that how they wish their partner would call in the daytime and suggest about evening plans. Flirting is a good thing also in a long relationship.
Words can also be misused if you do not know your partner well enough.
How does partners touch each other in an exciting way?
Everyone has their own erotic parts of the body that you should share with your partner - and you can guide your partner with your hand at the same time. For someone that point can be found in the abdomen and the buttocks, and for someone else in the neck and the inside of the thighs.
However, all women do not like to be touched at the breasts, and even though the genital area is erotic, it is not advisable to touch it at first.
Many women want to have foreplay and need a lot of affection. At that time, the feeling of belonging together, the desire to receive and give increases.
Inspiration from a sex shop?
Always the same kind of sex at the same position may eventually kill your sex desires. Variation can refresh the relationship. Scented and tasty massage oils can be the first purchase. If you do not want to go to an erotic shop, you can also get sex toys from a pharmacy.
Inspiration can also come from a film or music, especially if they are related to past, pasionate moments. An erotically charged sex game can also be a fun purchase.
Should having sex be planned in advance?
There are always people who say that just plain sex is enough. In fact, it’s believed that sex will be more enjoyable when there’s time for it and it is progressing in peace.
The time for sex can be booked on a calendar. And the idea is not that bad, for example, if you are using an erectile dysfunction medication. When time for sex is reserved in a calendar, waiting for that time can awaken nice feelings. Many times scheduled sex also leads to spontaneous sex.
When is therapy needed?
Therapy is needed when sex becomes a problem for the another and going to bed together, the change becomes difficult and you do not dare talk to your partner.
Therapy seeks for causes for unwillingness and focus on the couple's everyday life: what everyday things prevent the desire to ignite and how to tackle them.
Sex is not a loose matter of life. As circumstances change in everyday life, for example, so that the couple have more time for each other, sex often begins to interest.